From the day we’re born, we’re instructed on how to build an
identity. We’re told our gender, race, socio economic class, religion, etc. Our
identity is so important that without it some people may find it difficult to
communicate with another until they can surmise it. At the same time, our
identity is a
identity. We’re told our gender, race, socio economic class, religion, etc. Our
identity is so important that without it some people may find it difficult to
communicate with another until they can surmise it. At the same time, our
identity is a
trap that limits and encages us.
How can this be, you may ask. We’re taught to be proud of
our identity. In fact, it shapes how we speak, to whom we speak, the college
and career we choose and the car we drive. However, in reality, we had no
choice in the identity we claim to have created. To start, our name and first
language were given to us. We had no choice. Those 2 factors play large roles
in shaping who we are. In addition, we didn’t choose whether we’re attractive
or unattractive. That status was given to us as well. And we never question why
we speak English, for example, or have the name we were given and why another
person is able to decide how attractive we are. The same goes for intelligence,
humor, courage, etc.
our identity. In fact, it shapes how we speak, to whom we speak, the college
and career we choose and the car we drive. However, in reality, we had no
choice in the identity we claim to have created. To start, our name and first
language were given to us. We had no choice. Those 2 factors play large roles
in shaping who we are. In addition, we didn’t choose whether we’re attractive
or unattractive. That status was given to us as well. And we never question why
we speak English, for example, or have the name we were given and why another
person is able to decide how attractive we are. The same goes for intelligence,
humor, courage, etc.
All of the attributes our identity is comprised of were made
up and defined before we were born. We are born into them and live our lives as
though they are the facts of life. They are part of the human paradigm and no
one asked for our opinion when they created the paradigm. They only told us
what the rules were and how to fit in. Those rules shape our actions and
thoughts throughout our lives.
up and defined before we were born. We are born into them and live our lives as
though they are the facts of life. They are part of the human paradigm and no
one asked for our opinion when they created the paradigm. They only told us
what the rules were and how to fit in. Those rules shape our actions and
thoughts throughout our lives.
Except, there is a catch to our identity. It comes with presuppositions
that we never question. It is analogous to people believing the earth was flat
years ago. The belief in a flat world was a fact and part of their identities
and no one questioned it. When someone did, they were accused of being crazy or
lacking common sense. With our identities, we only stray so far from the
identity we were given by our environment for fear of falling out of favor with
the people we know or don’t know. We color within the lines and remain
politically correct.
that we never question. It is analogous to people believing the earth was flat
years ago. The belief in a flat world was a fact and part of their identities
and no one questioned it. When someone did, they were accused of being crazy or
lacking common sense. With our identities, we only stray so far from the
identity we were given by our environment for fear of falling out of favor with
the people we know or don’t know. We color within the lines and remain
politically correct.
Therefore, the identity constrains us in ways that aren’t
easily discernable because it could seem like a lack of common sense to
question it. For example, we move about our lives with an identity that could
predetermine that a person without a formal higher education could not be CEO
of a large company. We presume other impossibilities about people based on age,
race, gender, etc. Yet, there are people like Steve Jobs and John D.
Rockefeller, Sr. who became extraordinarily successful without a formal higher
education.
easily discernable because it could seem like a lack of common sense to
question it. For example, we move about our lives with an identity that could
predetermine that a person without a formal higher education could not be CEO
of a large company. We presume other impossibilities about people based on age,
race, gender, etc. Yet, there are people like Steve Jobs and John D.
Rockefeller, Sr. who became extraordinarily successful without a formal higher
education.
It is kind of like our identities are prepackaged with a
script. We follow it faithfully. When we witness the success of people like
Jobs and Rockefeller, we try to explain it with statements like luck or right
place at the right time. Somehow they broke away from the script, questioned
reality and followed their own desires regardless of popular opinion.
script. We follow it faithfully. When we witness the success of people like
Jobs and Rockefeller, we try to explain it with statements like luck or right
place at the right time. Somehow they broke away from the script, questioned
reality and followed their own desires regardless of popular opinion.
As for the rest of us, when we stick to the script that is
part of our cultural beliefs, we become uncomfortable when someone persuades us
to try something outside of our identity. When that happens, we defend our way
of thinking and acting. In that case, the very identity that we’re taught to be
proud of can sometimes close our minds to possibilities that are outside of our
knowledge and experience. From where we stand, our way is the right way. To
step out of our identities we need proof that the new way is valid. Without the
proof, we tend to spend more time negating new ways of thinking and acting.
part of our cultural beliefs, we become uncomfortable when someone persuades us
to try something outside of our identity. When that happens, we defend our way
of thinking and acting. In that case, the very identity that we’re taught to be
proud of can sometimes close our minds to possibilities that are outside of our
knowledge and experience. From where we stand, our way is the right way. To
step out of our identities we need proof that the new way is valid. Without the
proof, we tend to spend more time negating new ways of thinking and acting.
There is, however, an alternative way to manage our
identities. When we can distinguish our identity and how it can constrain us,
we have a chance to choose possibilities that are outside of the box we were
put into. This is not only critical for individuals and teams. Identity is
sometimes the reason corporations get blindsided by disruptive technology
created outside their industry, which implies regardless of your profession,
status or native country, identity has built in blind spots.
identities. When we can distinguish our identity and how it can constrain us,
we have a chance to choose possibilities that are outside of the box we were
put into. This is not only critical for individuals and teams. Identity is
sometimes the reason corporations get blindsided by disruptive technology
created outside their industry, which implies regardless of your profession,
status or native country, identity has built in blind spots.
If you enjoy breaking new ground, find ways to constantly
develop yourself. Furthermore, surround yourself with people who question your beliefs or limitations. And be willing to make mistakes. While stepping out of
your identity presents social risks, it has tremendous rewards for personal and
professional achievement.
develop yourself. Furthermore, surround yourself with people who question your beliefs or limitations. And be willing to make mistakes. While stepping out of
your identity presents social risks, it has tremendous rewards for personal and
professional achievement.
What do you think? I’m open to ideas. Or if you want to
write me about a specific topic, let me know.
write me about a specific topic, let me know.